Upstairs
Hey, you guys
up there.
Yes, I am talking to you!
Mohammad, Jesus,Buddha.
Jacob, Joseph, Moses!
Sara,Lea, Miriam,Rachel!
Give peace!
Enough!
On this eve of Yom Kippur I am feeling lots of mixed emotions and feelings.
This short poem expresses some of those thoughts.
Painting
Oils and cold wax on paper 15×14 inches with collage pieces. Visual intentions for the series (10) are use of collage elements, bright colors, geometrical shapes on neutral organic grounds. The collage pieces either newsprint or tissue paper that I had used blotting paint on various works, a technique in working with oils and cold wax.
Submitted this at Cold Wax Academy where we are discussing evaluation of composition . It was chosen as one of the pieces to be evaluated by the students. The lesson was more on the evaluation than on the painting, to help us to evaluate our own works in progress. Three chose my painting to evaluate.
Critique 1
Hierarchy Issue
*The shapes are too similar in size and shape. My eyes just travel in a circle.
*The shapes feel like they are floating.
Critique 2
Intriguing painting with a strong composition.
The 3-shapes connect as a central-mass and are “held” by a loose grid.
Complimentary saturated red and green palette make an interesting juxtaposition with the muted
grey-plum background that create unity.
The hierarchy is clear with the RH largest red shape taking the lead and then the excellent line
work and mark making create a flow leading the eye around the painting to the other shapes.
The shapes are almost fractal with the marks and lines adding interest and curiosity.
Wonderful implied lines support the grid design and create interest and other shapes come forth
such as a loose triangle and or square.
As I walked through the evaluation, I found the painting reminiscent of ancient drawings but also
familiar due to the architectural shapes and colours. The painting seems to invite intrigue with
unanswered questions. I think that’s the beauty of this piece.
Critique 3
– Not working., problem with unity, three green shapes separate from background grey.
Attempted integration between shapes and background with introduction of small amount of green
in lower left background corner.
Thoughts anyone!
I was fully aware that the shapes were similar, but left them as they were. Breaking the rules!
Discover more from Oil Cold Wax & My Sketchbook
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
9 Responses
מקסים
Carol, “Upstairs” is my favorite of your poems! It speaks with VOICE! I am very taken with the short direct sentences, the commands. Terrific!
I’m curious as to what guidelines students are given for evaluating. I’m thinking of guidelines we got in the Coursera course we both took, guidelines participants got in another poetry class I took recently, and guidelines from Jane Davies gave participants in a painting class I took 9 years ago. Here is a bit of feedback from me:
• the bright colors in contrast to the neutral background pull me in strongly
• i see three predominant shapes that are similar (bright green, bright red, bright white in each; linework in each) but which have differences (slightly varied sizes, slightly varied shapes). i see the shape on the right as a face; i see in the top shape a small abstracted human figure).
• Was there a part of the process that ‘sang’ to you, energized you?
• Did you run into points in the process where you felt stuck? How did you move past being stuck?
• Will you work further on this piece?
Thank you for your feedback on the poem. Poetry doesn’t come naturally. This one sort of jumped into my head.
The beginnings are always very energetic. Oils and cold wax is a very layered process. I started these when I returned home from workshop in Ireland August 2024. We were working on series at CWA, I started these. After several layers I got stuck! It took quite a while to look at them objectively and try to move on. I think this particular piece is finished.
When Jerry and Rebecca started to go deeper in composition he made a guideline to help us evaluate. Questions like Is the piece working?
Yes/no why? Questions about unity, heiarchy,balance, variations, color etc. All dealing with the formal aspect (visual) and not content or meaning the piece may convey or not.
Hope this answers your questions.
That poem! A prayer to be launched to the heavens! Love it.
The painting speaks to me of isolation and loneliness…my eyes try to connect the shapes and cannot, so it creates tension. And art that causes an emotional response is successful, I think!
I always love your cold wax pieces and their mysteriousness. And breaking the rules is why we are here, right? More! More rule-breaking!
Thanks so much for your generous feedback! So glad that my piece resonates with you. There is a lot of emotion behind the piece and others in the series.
Portland, a war zone? What is Trump doing? Stay safe !
I love your poem, Carol. The strength with which it is delivered. To the point, full of emotion.
The painting, I love it. I think the shapes are different enough, not to compete. I think they are grounded with the lighter color and with the lines. Suggestions. I love the textures and marks, and yes, my eye does travel around. Isn’t that what we want? For the art to be viewed and for the eye to travel? Keep breaking the rules, Carol. xoxo
Thank you so much for your feedback on the poem and artwork! Yes, I agree we can break rules if we want! Brachot!
To me, with pieces like this that are to one degree or another abstract, so much of what someone may choose to say as feedback is more about themselves than anything else. We’re all going to look at a piece like this and be inclined to focus on different aspects, and that’s about us. Yes, there are “standards” of art–composition, variation, color combinations, etc. And then there’s the surface, the layers, the technicals, etc. At the moment, what I am noticing is the lighter parts of the background, where perhaps you removed color, although that is speculation. For me, those lighter areas are a large part of what is helping this piece to be cohesive. I am choosing my words carefully, i.e. “for me.” Someone else is likely to have a total different reaction, as evidenced by the varying feedback you wrote the students gave you. I’ll read the rest of your friends’ comments after I post this and then I’m guessing I’ll see even more varied reactions! The piece speaks to me of light and various ways light is either let in or blocked from entering. But you may not have had light on your mind at all when you created that piece. Regardless, I think my reaction is valid, cause my reaction part of me : ). Interesting process, I don’t really view my pieces in such a formal matter. Mostly I do, “Is anything bugging me? If so, do I know how I would like to fix it? If I don’t actually know how to fix what’s bugging me, am I willing to take the risk of losing the pieces I like by trying things to see how it goes?” Yeah, that’s pretty much the essence of my self-critique, lol. Is anything bugging me and am I willing to change it and risk the piece! Or shall I move on and take what I learned to the next piece?
Thanks so much for your indepth feedback. When viewing a piece you are standing in the place where the artist stood. It is very subjective.
What we were doing in this exercise was to look at the work in a more formal aspect. Analyzing the composition/structure. Is the painting working in a visual aspect. Asking if something is bugging is a good question. Sometimes one has to learn to analyze our own work. That is what we have been learning these past months. Viewing a piece on its concept is legitimate as well. Everyone brings something different.